I started college a year after I graduated. I will tell you guys in another blog why I took a year off. Ok, I went in with a fresh attitude. I thought I was going to being more happy, connect with more people, network, and become even more educated more importantly. I move into the dorms and was slightly disgusted but at the same time grateful. The dorms were busted because they were traditional dorms. It looked like an actual jail cell, like the rooms we see on those youth detention centers. The beds were uncomfortable. I looked past it, I was just ready to meet people. I met my roommate, very cool, seemed very mature, but I could tell he was very intelligent. So I said ok he's going to be like a big brother because I've always wanted one. We introduced ourselves and I won't lie, I told some things and I kept some things to myself because since high school, I always had my guard up because I don't know if later down the line if we had issues, he would bring all of that up and out to basically break me down as a human being. He told me personal stuff that I still to this day have not told because that's the person I have always been and that's why people have always said that I need to be a counselor because I listen to people well and give them advice. Anyways, lol, a few weeks in we were, you can kind of say vibin, because I don't instantly start being someone's friend off the jump, this isn't the Real World or Bad Girls Club. He met some people and I was still meeting people because like I said I like to observe and see who I am dealing with. Like I said he joined this organization, he asked me if I wanted to join I said i'll think about it, because I already told him that I don't jump into things I have no information about. Time passed and I never joined because the people who were in it I would see around campus the vibe I got from them was that they feel like they're above people and they're not genuine to you if you aren't up their ass. So I declined. The accurate reason on why I decided to decline was because i'm about helping people actually, not possibly bringing them down to the point that they lose themselves. I never want to lose myself, so why would I want to be steered in that direction? It was an incident that was the beginning of me distancing myself from my roommate. His friends he met would come into the room, not speak unless you spoke to them, sat in my area without asking, loud as hell at times when I was trying to sleep. The next morning my roommate apologized before I was going to address it, so I'm big on respect, so he did what he had to do as a man and took responsibility and I couldn't do anything but respect that he did that. A few days in it kept happening, mind you I never got introduced to them, so I lost a little respect for him them. He brought up an idea about getting pizza and guess who wasn't invited to chip in? *Yours Truly*, lol so I was really half way over with him. Got up the next morning, he offered me a BREADSTICK! The old me would've took off on him, but the person I was working on to become just said no thanks and went on with my day to class(es). After that, a few days later we got into it and I was DONE! I ignored him, didn't acknowledge him, etc. I wasn't rude but I was done, mind made up type of shit. He asked me one morning if I was okay because I haven't spoken with him in like two weeks and I lied and said im cool and went on with my day. To sum it all up my college experience so far was B U L L S H I T !!! I can honestly say that I have learned a bunch about myself. I learned so far that I can be strong as hell because I had nobody this whole entire time. Nobody at the school never wanted to give me a chance, looked over me as if I wasn't worthy enough. I have learned that I am basically a work in progress as well. Even though I was treated cold at this school, I won't say I regret going through it because it gave me more knowledge and it showed me that I can make it through this stage of life. I do not hate my roommate, I just came to the conclusion that we are two different people and that's just what it is. I wasn't rude to him or anybody else that seems to have a problem with me. To be honest I don't care because LIFE IS TOO SHORT! I move onto the next. I am also a true believer in KARMA.
